I Hate Tuesdays

I love her, don't get me wrong. I love her a lot. I guess that is really the root of the problem. Mom says I love her too much. It seems to bother my mom that I want to show her how much I love her. I lick her. I'm a dog, that's what dogs do for crying out loud. She's a baby human and she is really cute and funny and she squeals in this funny way when I lick her. That means she likes it, right? Right? So why does Mom always say, "Keep your tongue in your mouth, Bumby"? If I like to lick her and she likes to be licked why shouldn't we get what we want? But, no, I always end up getting locked in my crate. I love my crate, it is cozy and soft and it's all mine. No one else gets to go in it. But I hate being locked in it. I hate not being able to lick her. She only comes over on Tuesdays. And I'm always so happy to see her. But I end up spending most of the day in my crate. "Keep your tongue in your mouth, Bumby or you will have to go in your crate". I try. I really try. But she smells good, baby good. And she squeals. No matter how many times I have to go in my crate I can't stop myself from licking her. Man, I hate Tuesdays.